In an effort to quench America’s insatiable thirst for new gadgets and gizmos, we’ve tackled an area previously ignored by our competitors and taken automotive transportation to the next level.
Meet our newly-patented Self-Driving Car, a vehicle that will take you to work or play with the same comfort you would experience riding along in a stretch limo, or one of those expensive horse-drawn carriages you might find circling around in Central Park on Valentine’s day. Simply input your destination and SDC’s onboard navigation system will do the rest. All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride.
Remember those days when you and your date had to make out in the back seat of a taxi cab after a long night of heavy drinking? With the SDC you’ll never have to deal with pesky cabbies eavesdropping on your love nest ever again. The only hot and bothered question is: “your place or hers?” If you feel like getting groovy on the way there, the interior of the vehicle will transform into your very own den of seduction with the soothing sounds of Kenny G’s soprano sax, serenading through the stereo. It’s all included free of charge with your purchase and scientifically proven to get even those stuck-up prudes in the mood.
Do you ever find yourself getting sleepy in traffic on your way to work? Have you ever dosed off–or even crashed behind the wheel? Let’s face it a bloody tie and a busted nose aren’t very becoming in today’s fast paced work environment. You could save hundreds–even thousands of dollars with the SDC. Catch some Z’s on your commute and show up at the office refreshed and rested, with all the extra energy you need to impress your boss.
Why put up with being the designated driver ever again? With the SDC, you and your buddies can drink as much as you’d like without ever having to worry about DUI’s or tragic fatalities at the hands of your dumbass. At the end of the night, just pile in and pass out, while the SDC takes you home safely. Don’t forget to buckle up!
It comes in a variety of styles and colors to satisfy any personal taste: From futuristic sci-fi chrome, to a sportier fire-apple red.
So if you like traveling with ease and style, Pick up a Self-Driving Car today. Recline your seat with confidence and peace of mind. And go ahead, put your feet up on the dash.